Cat Tales

Kimmy Kakes On The Road Again

2011-11-04T07:51:00.000-07:00

I caught the latest Episode of the Today Show (weekdays, 10AM ET on NBC), and lo and behold, the topic of the night was the Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries divorce. Hmm…why am I still surprised?
Well, of course I went like meh…then I realised, obviously TV shows are more keen on covering world-breaking events such as this, than say, the OWS movement or the crisis in Somalia.

So as a "heartbroken nation" now grapples with the devastating news that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are divorcing after only 72 days, Kathie Lee and Hoda were there to help pick up the pieces. The ladies talked about the public backlash against the Kardashian reality wedding spectacle.

Suffice it to say that Yellow Journalism ruled the day again and I have quickly become enamored by the fiasco that has become reality TV.

Which brings me back to the issue at hand; I neither have the time nor the stomach to dive into the discussion on the KKK wedding. However, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this pint-sized smasher actually dated this monster of a man. I mean, just check out this pic; Scope the way this giant is grabbing Kim’s ass. I mean, SHEEEESH!!!

Is it that his hand is super huge or Kim’s ass is super tiny?

But then again, with all the plastic surgery that Kimmy Kakes has gorged herself with, I doubt it’s the latter.
Which means this man is well and truly an ogre.

Goodness!

How were they getting it on again?

I’m lovin – Flashing Lights by Kanye West

Dear Wangari

2011-09-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

Wangari,
I'm just a young, ordinary Kenyan girl.
I'm just an average, disillusioned citizen, tired and apathetic.
Wearily have I watched as our country's leaders have turned the electorate into puppets. Weaving tribal lines, churning emotions and pitting brother against brother.
Wangari, I grew up like many others, in a time where few emerged as true leaders, worthy of Kenyans' admiration and gratitude.
Noble leaders such as yourself have come and gone.
I grew up watching and learning from you; you evoked such a die-hard spirit. You made me wonder if indeed it was possible for this country to one day, rise above the pettiness that defines our leadership.
You made me believe that Kenya was indeed capable of producing fine, worthy and legendary leaders.
You made me take note of the little things; your love for the environment, your fierce protective nature and your resilience in your quest to ensure that Kenya remains green - all these made me love nature even more.
Your resounding clarion call for Kenyans to wake up and contribute to saving our forests was heard across the seven seas.
You instilled such an immense sense of pride in me, in women, in the youth. You were a beaming light; a fierce torch that would guide all women who dared to stand up for what was right.
You were a true mentor, a believer, a hero, a mother, a confidante, a revolutionary, a friend.
You were Wangari Maathai; a human being that has left an immeasurable void on the face of the earth.
You will remain the stuff of legend, and our children's children will live to hear of your greatness.
Wangari, I cry for the loss that this country has faced today.
Wangari, I cry for I know we will never be touched by greatness such as yours.
Rest in peace Wangari.
You fought a chivalrous battle and emerged victorious.
You survived adversity and ashamed your naysayers.
I will forever remember your contribution to this world.
I treasure the fact that I lived in this generation; to witness who you were and what you achieved.

Travel well Mama Miti.

Love and sincere gratitude,

Citycat.

Mr. Right

2011-09-15T01:11:00.000-07:00

Mr. Right; okay he doesn’t exist. Yeah, I know. We all know.

But every girl still has a list of how their Mr. Right should be. So for heck’s sake, here is mine…ok, its kinda rambly and all. Its more like a list of all the characteristics I did and didn’t like after a date is over. Call me obsessive, I don’t really care…I’m all for perfection. Or at least finding someone who is everything I’m looking for. (Sigh)

1. Makes me laugh - To me, conversation has always been more important than looks (to a point though, there has to be some initial attraction. I mean DUH). I would rather be with someone who makes me laugh than someone who makes the mean girls jealous. Ok, fine. Both would be sooo cool.

2. Creative – I like to consider myself pretty creative (with the exception of this topic) and I think for someone to be able to be with me long-term they would need to have a little creativity in order to put up with my story telling and intricate delusions of grandeur. Mostly these pop up smack in the course of my erstwhile monotonous work days. So I basically end up going through the motions with a dazed look. Not so bad once you get the hang of it…which leads me to…

3. Intelligent - I think it goes without saying that an intelligent mind is a major turn on. Please tell me you didn’t love A Beautiful Mind. Go on, look me in the eyes and LIE!!

Yeah…anyway, there’s absolutely no way to tolerate someone who seems painfully subterranean in terms of their grasp of all things intelligentsia. I just can’t. I love a guy who makes me think, keeps my brain churning and bursting with ideas and questions. Excite me with your world views and hypotheses. Don’t make me feel like I’m the only thinker in the room. I’m not saying you should give Socrates a run for his money; I’m just saying be bright. Period.

4. Tall - I’ve found that short guys tend to have a Napoleon complex…Plus I just feel more comfortable with a guy taller than I am. Hello, those six-inch heels have to be worn when we’re out.

5. Has a job – I understand it’s a bad economy, but I’m just one of those people who work a lot, and enjoy it. Oh please, who am I kidding-I hate working. It’s totally uncool and frankly, whoever came up with the idea of 9 to 5 is so on my wanted list right now.

That having been said, it suffices to say that being with someone who has no motivation to even search for a job – a decent, well paying, take-care-of-my-woman job…yeah, not gonna work.

6. Enjoys learning - I was one of those people who got super excited about buying school supplies, the person who read the book before school started, the person who got thrown out of British Council’s Library and MacMillan because goddamit, its 6pm on Saturday - you’re supposed to be out partying or something, not stuck in an old, creepy, dusty library, choking on dust balls but still ploughing through atlases and Thesauruses.

7. Must love animals – I hate creepy crawlies. Love all other members of the animal kingdom. Cats, dogs, horses, alligators, pigs, chicken…Love em, love em, love em.

8. Spontaneous - I think it would even me out, I’m a lover of routines. I’d want someone who would inspire a random trip to the Rift and back… No scatch that – a random trip to some place that cant even be found on GPS. Yup.Just because it would be fun to go.

9. Sarcasm - I’ve met guys who don’t understand my witty/sarcastic remarks. At times it felt like I was speaking a different language. Seriously, is it that hard to figure?

10. Loves the outdoors – I love being outside, especially when it’s sunny and blue skies are stretching out for miles. Road trips and escapades to wherever, bungee jumping off cliffs and running around in the grass barefeet…these, a girl loves! No way do I want to be with someone who sits inside all day.

11. Competitive – Okay, I know what you might be thinking because you’ve been with the “overly competitive guy”. And it isn’t fun to compete about everything, but going back to careers…I think it would be nice to find someone as equally driven and competitive in the work place as I am.

I'm loving - Mr. Right by A Rocket to The Moon

I Have Learnt

2011-08-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks, leading upto the last one and a half months; have been choc-full of some pretty hard life lessons.

I didnt know; at least I never imagined that I could ever take a crash course on life in such a short period of time.

But all the same, lessons have been learnt.

Lessons that will stay with me for life. Lessons that I wouldn't have otherwise learnt if it wasnt for the experiences that I had in this period of time.

I have learnt...that no matter what I do, no matter what I say, if something wasnt meant to be, then no Oprah-inspired advice, no self-help book or philosophy will make it be. It just wasnt meant to be.

I have learnt that people who I thought were true friends or had my back, were not such true friends after all.

I have learnt, because of this, who my true friends are.

I've learnt to love my loved ones like I'll never see them again. And to let them know just how much I care for them.

I have learnt that shit will happen - and not just once- concurrently and I'll have to wipe myself of it and keep going.

I have learnt that revenge is best served cold.

I have learnt that no amount of revenge can soothe a broken heart.

I have learnt that when I realise that someone doesnt like me half as much as I like them, then I really have to get a-stepping coz staying will only lead to heartbreak. And I dont really have time for that.

I have learnt that when someone likes me, then I wont need to ask them nor do quizzes nor take behavioral science to know it. I wont have to st by the phone, or keep checking my emails to check whether they've looked for me.

I've learnt that when someone DOES like me then it shows. It TOTALLY shows.

I have learnt that there's no use in crying over spilt milk. I'd better just head to the store and get another packet.

I have learnt that when all is said and done, this life is too short to surround myself with negativity. I need to LIVE like I never will.

I'm loving : There's Hope - India Arie

Amy Fade's to Black

2011-07-27T04:18:00.000-07:00

I was quite befuddled by Amy Winehouse's passing; befuddled because just a week ago she seemed (as per reports online) to be healthier than she'd ever been for months.

Plus I'd just been jamming Rehab over and over in the past week. Quite cryptic then, dont you think? Anyways, I came across Russell Brand's touching tribute to the talented Amy and I just had to share:

“I’ve known Amy Winehouse for years. When I first met her around Camden she was just some twit in a pink satin jacket shuffling round bars with mutual friends, most of whom were in cool Indie bands or peripheral Camden figures Withnail-ing their way through life on impotent charisma.

Carl Barrat told me that “Winehouse” (which I usually called her and got a kick out of cos it’s kind of funny to call a girl by her surname) was a jazz singer, which struck me as a bizarrely anomalous in that crowd. To me with my limited musical knowledge this information placed Amy beyond an invisible boundary of relevance; “Jazz singer? She must be some kind of eccentric” I thought. I chatted to her anyway though, she was after all, a girl, and she was sweet and peculiar but most of all vulnerable.”

“Now Amy Winehouse is dead, like many others whose unnecessary deaths have been retrospectively romanticised, at 27 years old. Whether this tragedy was preventable or not is now irrelevant. It is not preventable today. We have lost a beautiful and talented woman to this disease. Not all addicts have Amy’s incredible talent. Or Kurt’s or Jimi’s or Janis’s, some people just get the affliction. All we can do is adapt the way we view this condition, not as a crime or a romantic affectation but as a disease that will kill. We need to review the way society treats addicts, not as criminals but as sick people in need of care.

"We need to look at the way our government funds rehabilitation. It is cheaper to rehabilitate an addict than to send them to prison, so criminalisation doesn’t even make economic sense. Not all of us know someone with the incredible talent that Amy had but we all know drunks and junkies and they all need help and the help is out there. All they have to do is pick up the phone and make the call. Or not. Either way, there will be a phone call.”
Couldnt have had a more adequately penned tribute.

R.I.P Amy. May you find peace now.

I'm loving: Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse

Back to Black

2011-07-15T04:21:00.000-07:00

I was rummaging through my wardrobe the other day and came to the sudden realisation that almost everything I own is black.

Black tees, black leggings, black shirts, black skirts, black trousers, black jackets, black bras, black panties, black shoes. Black, black, black.

So, I was looking for something light and airy to wear and I thought...hmm, wouldnt it be interesting to kinda just always be in ...black?

Oh, wait I'm already doing that.

See, I have been for a while now, that elusive pop of color in an otherwise dull office environment.

I'll put on something rather drab and instinctively add a dash of neon without a care; it could be neon polish a la Rihanna style, a neon top or scarf and I'm set to tackle the dinosaur that is corporate Kenya.

I mean, black isnt even my fvourite colour, as I'm in love with blue and purple and green. Oh...which reminds me, I have a think for the aqua colours again...hmm, topic for another day?

Anyhu...so I'm just starting to think that maybe I should fade to black. After all, isnt it like the most functional hue anyone can have in their wardrobe?

Plus it would go perfectly well with my mood of late.

I guess its time to embrace the snide remarks; "Who died?" or "Hey Bride of Frankenstein"

But then again, there arent that snide a people in my yard. All wishful thinking.

Release the doves!!

I'm loving - Fade to Black by Jay Z

The Ten Worst Movies Ever Made

2011-07-14T05:24:00.000-07:00

The Ten Worst Movies Ever Made

After being forced to watch Ballistica recently, I was appalled at the dreadful depths to which onscreen entertainment has fallen. The trashiness that saturates the programs offered for our viewing makes me feel physically ill—and secretly intrigued. I dug deep into the dark, hairy underbelly of Hollywood to uncover some of the other most tasteless, atrocious, and unprofitable films ever made.

10. NorbitYou might think that Eddie Murphy in a fat suit equals hilarious, side-splitting laughter all around. You would be wrong. Not only is Norbit racist, it’s just not funny. A film critic from the UK had the following words of wisdom, “If you paid to see Norbit, look deep inside yourself. Look deep inside yourself and take the same amount of money you paid to see that movie and give it to a good cause because, believe me, you’re karmically unbalanced if you paid to see that film.”

9. Son of The Mask It takes a lot of courage (or a lot of stupidity) to make a sequel to a Jim Carrey movie and not have Jim Carrey actually in the movie (à la Dumb and Dumberer). With an $84 million budget and a $17 million domestic box office gross, I’d venture to say that this movie was a flop. If you like comedy, movies, laughter, and an all-around good time, DO NOT see Son of the Mask.

8. Over Her Dead BodyThe general plot of Over Her Dead Body is that Eva Longoria gets killed by an ice-sculpture on her wedding day, then comes back and haunts her husband’s new girlfriend. In the end, her betrothed marries the living woman and Eva goes back to heaven—griping, I know. Sean Axmaker, a reviewer from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer said, “... It’s as flat as day-old soda, a comedy completely lacking in bubbles or fizz.” Basically, don’t worry about her dead body; worry about dying of boredom from watching this film.

7. The Hottie and the NottieThe trajectory that this shameful attempt at filmmaking follows is evident from the moment the hottie protagonist falls for the nottie—after she gets plastic surgery. As of April 2008, the film is ranked as the thirteenth worst movie of all time in IMDb’s Bottom 100 list—it scored 1.6 points out of a possible 10. I guess Paris should stick to her day job ... not that she actually has one.
6. Gigli
Combining the mighty star powers of JLo and Ben Affleck, producers were certain they had a sure-fire hit. Ultimately, they created the world’s worst miss. Gigli received a rating of below 0 stars from Time—the only movie in history to receive this score. Critics called Gigli “the ultimate turkey of all time,” and audiences, already sick of Bennifer’s overexposure, were happy to see the movie tank.
5. From Justin to Kelly

This movie features Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, the winner and runner-up of the first season of American Idol. Texan singing waitress Kelly Taylor meets Pennsylvania college student Justin Bell; they fall in love and spend the rest of the movie being annoying. On IMDb.com, the film is currently rated as the twenty-fourth worst movie ever made—even lower on the list than Daddy Day Camp.

4. Glitter

Glitter follows the life of a struggling songstress in the eighties. (Hmm … sounds a bit like an autobiography, Ms. Butterfly.) Mariah did win an award for this film (at the 2001 Golden Raspberries)—an award for WORST actress. I would rather watch the music video “Hero” by clicking Repeat for 104 minutes than sit through this thing.
3. Freddy Got Fingered

Freddy Got Fingered is a disgustingly gross, exaggerated version of the Tom Green Show. This movie uses situations created for their shock value and jokes of the seven-year-old-booger-and-gas-passing genre. Green fails painfully in his attempt at telling this semi-autobiographical story of living in his dad’s garage and spreading rumors of his dad abusing his younger brother. Sounds like a laugh riot, right? Yeah, no one else thought so either. Needless to say, the movie bombed at the box office.

2. Dude Where's The Party?

In its attempt to depict the experience of being a first-generation Indian-American, this film exaggerates every possible stereotype and manages to be completely unfunny. As if the ridiculous movie poster isn’t enough of an indication of this film’s intelligence level, it also has an unclever title and degrades the affable, hilarious Kal Penn of Harold and Kumar fame. Three strikes, it’s out!

1. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

First of all—what in the world is an Eck or a Sever? This film is so bad that it doesn’t even matter. Ballistic is a 2002 action film featuring Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas, who play secret agents pretending to be enemies. Rotten Tomatoes ranked Ecks vs. Sever number one on the Worst of the Worst movie list—I agree.

Ok fine, there IS a worst of the worst. Worse than Ballistics actually - Children of The Corn. But I just couldnt muster the energy to get into the details of this pathetic atrocity for I was too busy hurling at the thought of it.

I'm loving: Feel Good Time - P!nk

60 Shots o’ rum…

2011-05-11T03:39:00.000-07:00

So one of my fellow bloggers inspired me to go ahead and have myself a jolly good game of 60 shots…

Seeing that I don’t have any rum as per now, let’s just get this started with say, some vodoski?

What did you want to be when you were growing up? A sega dancer. You know those hot, belly dancers from Mauritius. I was totally stocked by their graceful moves n flowy puffy skirts. Hmm…wonder what happened to that aspiration…

What's the best piece of advice you have ever been given? Follow your heart.

Well, let’s just say my heart has led me to some pretty f***ed up places but hey, the experiences have made me more the wiser. So now I’m following my head. It always seems to be quite well placed to make the most important decisions nowadays.

What's the best piece of advice you ever gave? Don’t cry. A man who loves you, really loves you will never make you cry.

What do you most enjoy about your job? My three alter egos colliding with a whole assortment of personalities. Its awesome. You never know what you’re gonna get. It’s like opening a box of chocolates…ok I’m kidding. It isn’t half as exciting. Sigh.

Who would you most like to have dinner with? Zach Galifianakis. And Mike Shinoda.

What has been your most embarrassing moment? My first kiss. Utterly disgusting. I think I vomited in my mouth. And it was in front of quite a bunch of peeps. Damn.

Who is the most important person in your life? Mother, mother, mother. Forever cherish her.

What's your worst regret in life? Not pursuing my sega dancing career.

Who is your role model? My mum.

If you could be one person for a day, who would that be? Kim Kardashian. Yeah I said it. Sue me.

We Just Dont Like Nice!

2011-03-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

Finally! Someone actually took the time; sat down and blew my mind with these reasons as to why women don’t like nice guys. Why the bad guy always gets the girl.

It’s amazing!! I’ve always wondered why, say instead of going for Mr. Nice Guy over there, I’d rather stick it out with Mr. Angst-filled, wild card.

Check this out:

Not real: Nice guys are too nice. No one can always be that nice unless they’re a saint. They are busy being nice instead of being real and women instinctually don’t trust that. Bad boys “keep it real”. Nice guys don’t want to upset the apple cart.

Respect: No one respects a doormat. Nice guys don’t set boundaries or make any real demands. A bad boy doesn’t let a woman walk all over him or control him. Women can’t respect a man they can control. No respect = No attraction.

Predictable: Most people lead boring, predictable lives, so they’re attracted to people who are exciting and a bit unpredictable. Bad boys are always a challenge. Nice guys are never a challenge. Predictable + No excitement + No challenge = I prefer a bad boy.

Mother Nature: Women are designed to nurture. However, instead of doing this with children, they often end up doing it with bad boys. They think their love will save them. Nice guys rarely need to be saved.

Fixer-Upper: Nice guys don’t usually need to be fixed. Bad boys usually do, so they become a project. Women think if they can “create” the perfect man, he will never leave them. Also, if they’re busy fixing someone else, they don’t have to look at what needs to be fixed in their own lives.

I practically had to get me a glass of wine as I browsed through the rest of the reasons.

Enjoy.

I’m loving: All of the Lights by Kanye West ft Rihanna

Rioter of the week

2011-03-28T00:58:00.001-07:00

Got milk?

This dairy farmer was protesting at the EU headquarters in Brussels over rapidly falling milk prices.

As is evident, the man did not earn his spot on the photo of the week for hurling grenades and roaring obscenities in the face of authority.

No,no...he's here for what he did right before this, which was to take a look at all his friends as they geared up for the protest -- strapping on their gas masks, pocketing their eye wash, testing their tasers, and hefting their clubs - before solemnly reaching down and grabbing the one and only weapon he needed.

Then he went to a riot armed with a freakin tit.

Check out these other badass protestors.

First They Came

2011-03-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

First They came - Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)

I love this poem. Niemoller was an anti-Communist German pastor,and at the height of Hitler's rampage in Germany, the good pastor postulated the following statement, sometimes presented as a poem.

It is well-known, frequently quoted, and is a popular model for describing the dangers of political apathy, as it often begins with specific and targeted fear and hatred which soon escalates out of control.

And as we all know too well, this is reminiscent of the happenings in Libya, Egypt, Kenya (a few years ago) and the rest of the world.

So just to remind ourselves...

"First they came for the communists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me."

Do speak out for someone/something this week. Its the least you can do; at least for your sake and for humanity's sake.

I'm loving - Speak for Me by Jaci Velasquez

The Girl Who Had Everything...

2011-03-23T22:52:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Taylor.

Yeah she DID have everything; the classic,elegance of a true Hollywood movie star, etheral beauty, sexual appeal, timeless talent and a heart of gold.

And she played the part well in the classic 50s movie.

Elizabeth Taylor lived a big life.

"The more the better” has always been my motto," she once said. Indeed with three Oscars, eight marriages, 12 bestselling fragrances, and countless carats of gemstones, she was a one-woman epic, dressed for the part with towering sculptures of ebony hair and artfully blended sweeps of jewel-toned shadow.

Yet despite her timeless beauty, juicy personal history, and legendary film performances, her most extraordinary role was that of a tireless fundraiser for AIDS awareness. For Taylor, living large meant giving big.

Another super star - the last legendary movie star in my opinion - has fallen.

Rest in peace Liz….you have left a mighty hole in many hearts. That void will never be filled.

For all the good things

2011-03-17T03:13:00.000-07:00

This year has been flecked with one heck of a disaster after another.

Ok, it all started with the Egypt riots that culminated in Hosni Mubarak's fall from grace (finally) and thereafter the domino effect was felt throughout the Midle East. With this came the hike in oil prices, the dollar has slumped, production has stalled, even earth days have shorthened!

And now the heartwrenching disaster that has engulfed Japan...its all so sad. The other day, a friend was saying how these events are so reminiscent of the "end of days" biblical references.
There's so much strife, disaster and human struggle.

The Japan situation is one that has got me thinking alot. I mean, just having a look at some of the pictures over here puts everything into firm perspective.

Its so easy for us mortals to forget all the good things we enjoy in our fickle lives; the iar we breathe, the safety of our homes, the love and affection of family, the food on our tables, a warm bed at night, the security of a job...

Lets remember to thank God and whoever deity we recognise for all the good things we have.
And please whisper a prayer to our Japanese brothers and sisiters.

I'm loving: Just a Prayer Away by Jaci Velasquez

Not Nate!

2011-03-16T01:36:00.000-07:00

So like I was doing my usual rounds on the internet when I got an IM from a pal - Nate Dogg's gone.

Suffice it to say that I was shocked. I mean WTF???

Nate Dogg-bandana wearing,smooth,mellow,swagalicious...

It seems like every other day, another bright, shining star leaves the music industry feeling orphaned. Its like, for every true talent that leaves the earth, a hail of auto-tune backed "singers" emerges. Seemingly, this dearth of true artists like Nate, MJ and so on, will not be mitigated.

Its saddening that he's gone. Nate's contribution to hip-hop cannot be overemphasised enough; he was truly legendary.

The internet is awash with tributes, the blogosphere sparking with fond memories of the man. I passed here and couldn’t help but notice how much Nate was loved and appreciated by his fans.

Man…I don’t even know where to begin. All I can say is hip-hop’s lost a real artist, a real star, a legend.

R.I.P Nate

I’m loving Regulate - Warren G ft Nate Dogg

Sleep well Becky

2011-02-15T23:51:00.000-08:00

They say when death comes aknockin’, you can’t keep the door closed.

Well, inasmuch as it’s an inherent fact that one day, all of us will leave this earth; it just never seems to

I lost a really good friend of mine the other day.

She was an amazing chic. She had so much going for her – looks, brains, personality…name it. Becky

had it all.

Becky.

She’d just finished her CPAs, was awaiting her graduation this year. Her results had just chomokad last

week and she had done exceptionally well. She was then planning on starting her own audit firm.

Becky was going places, and we all knew it.

But wait – God had other plans for her.

See, what we always seem to forget is that after all is said and done, God rules over every single

decision we make, every iota of our lives. He knows what will happen decades from now. Even before

we are born, He knows when we shall be going back home to Him.

And so it was that Becky had to bid us farewell and go back home.

Such a sad demise, I have hardly experienced. Well…others have gone too soon in my life, but Becky’s

leaving was just so…unexpected.

But they also say that the good die young.

Becky, I miss you so much and our friendship is all I can think of and smile.

Becky(in orange top). She was always so happy and exuding positive energy.

Because at least I have the memories, the good times and the bad. And the sure promise that one day

we shall meet again.

Rest in Peace sweet angel.

I’m loving: I’m Coming Home -Diddy Dirty Money

Party of One this Vals – 30 good reasons why.

2011-02-11T03:59:00.000-08:00

Back when I was in a relationship, there were a few things I missed about being a single girl. I had been in a great relationship for some time and for all the pleasures of having a boyfriend, I also missed some parts of my former life. Now that I’m Party of One, again, I think it’s time to revisit some of the single girl stuff I have to celebrate… and 30 good reasons why this year, I wont really miss Cupid's arrow.

1. I have the whole bed all to myself.

2. No one makes a face when I bite my fingernails. Or toenails.

3. I’m eating way less because I don’t need to cook like Martha Stewart. Tea, biscuits, a fresh fruit here, some cereal there and I’m perfecto!

4. No one is scratching their balls and then touching the remote control/fridge door/pillows. At least, I don’t think anyone is.

5. Lots of uninterrupted ME time.

6. I don’t feel guilty about the smell when I paint my nails.

7. I don’t feel self-conscious whenever I got o the little girls’ room.

8. Not washing anyone else’s laundry or dishes! Hooray!

9. I don’t have to worry about being cheated on because there is no one to cheat!

10. When I wear sweatpants to bed, no one complains about it.

11. Keeping up with the Kardashians can play for an entire hour without anyone whining.

12. Who cares how hairy my legs and armpits are? Not me. Ok, fine…I care. But not as much as a boyfriend would.

13. I’m the only one using my expensive bathing gel, shampoo and conditioner.

14. I can flirt with any cute guy and feel….NOT GUILTY! J

15. No more roommates I don’t get along with.

16. I feel more kinship with other single women. YEI YEIIII!!

17. I’ve seen more of my sisters, my cousins, mum, my boys and my girls than I have in the whole time that I was in a relationship.

18. I can blog about whatever I want regarding my personal life and no one will ask me to explain it later. Awesome!

19. Weekends are for me and my family, not anyone else’s.

20. The next time I go to the movies, I’m almost decidedly seeing a chick flick.

21. I wake up when my alarm clock goes off without someone pressuring me to hit snooze and stay a while longer when I really need to get on the go.

22. Lipstick, lip gloss and lip balm actually stay on my lips now.

23. Sleeping with my childhood teddy bear again ... without shame.

24. Don’t have to share the iPod with anyone.

25. Flirting without guilt. Oh wait…I said that already.

26. I can keep pets.

27. Deepening friendships and making new friends with all my free time.

28. I don’t have to shower as much.

29. No one has asked me why I need so many shoes, clothes, books, magazines, eccentric taste in movies etc. I just do, OK?

30. NO FOOTBALL!

As for all the lovebirds out there, do enjoy each other. I'll be busy sippin on a crisp clean bite as I watch yet another gooey flick.

I'm loving: Fall For Your Type by Jamie Foxx ft Drake

Dont you go tatting there!

2011-01-28T06:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I have a lil tatt. Anyhu, the other day a pal of mine was contemplating the idea. I didn’t urge her on or anything, but I almost hurled when she decided she’s gonna have one on some NSFW area of her body.

Suffice it to say that I decided that its very necessary for girls to know where they CANNOT have tattoos.

I know, tattoos can be sexy, fun and rebellious but here’s seven places a woman should never get a tattoo!

7. Breasts

Before you think about getting a rose or a name tatted on your boobs think about how you’ll never be able to wear low cut shirts without someone seeing that ever again.

6. Ass

Tatts on the ass cheeks are never a good idea. It just looks plain tacky

5. Thigh

The first way to ruin a classy moment is a big tattoo on your thigh in your dress or gown.

4. Neck

Neck tattoo should never, ever be on a woman! Even on men they are not so hot but as a lady this is a huge no-no place.

3. Tramp Stamp

It’s not cute anymore, get over it. If I had a dollar for every tramp stamp out there I’d be a millionaire. If I had a dollar for every tramp stamp regretted I’d be a billionaire.

2. Your Man’s Name…Anywhere

This is the kiss of death! The moment you put your man’s name on your body it’s going to be over…soon.

1. Face

Just unacceptable. Period.

I'm loving: Right Thru Me - Nicki Minaj

Dear Mom - No pokes yet!

2011-01-20T06:48:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon this over here while I was doing my usual trawling on the web...
I must say, its quite a humorous read - and choc-full of much needed pointers for our eager older generation types who've been bitten by the social network bug.

Hi Mom, it’s me. So I saw you’ve gone ahead and made yourself a Facebook account. Fabulous. While I fully support the older generation hijacking their way onto what was once my favorite social networking site, I’d really like it if you adhered to a few guidelines before going buck wild with all those bumper stickers I know you’re dying to send people.

Really, it’s just a few things to be mindful of while uploading daily inspirational quotes. Think of this as a handbook of helpful suggestions, not a list of strict rules and regulations.

1. Private messaging is a beautiful thing. I don’t want to know what’s going on between you and your high school sweetheart or why you don’t list that you’ve been married to dad for the past 35 years. Your wall is for things you want the WORLD to see. If it’s not on the up-and-up, make sure your conversations remain private.

2. I know who you are. Speaking of messaging, when you leave a note on my wall, you don’t need to include “Love, Mom.” I see your picture. I see your name. I know it’s you.

3. Don’t add anyone who you don’t actually know. I don’t want to worry when I see that you’re now friends with Ganjup Nepsal and Tikizi Hanazulu, two men who I’m sure told you how proficient they are in international banking. Wanna know a secret? They’re lying.

4. No baby photos. Spit-up is never cute. Regardless of what you say, my head was amazingly too large for my tiny baby body. Did I mention my head was covered in bright orange hair? And that you took to dressing me in a variety of fancy plaid dresses? There’s a reason why I hide the photo albums when my boyfriend comes over. Some things are better left on a need-to-know basis.

5. Don’t click on the ads. You know those great offers on the side of the screen? They’re not real. Or if they are, you’re going to have to spend a lot of money and fill out a lot of forms before they can apply to you. I don’t want to hear you screaming my name from the upstairs computer wondering why you can’t just have free copies of Better Homes and Gardens for a year.

6. Gratuitous pictures of yourself are unwarranted. Don’t do the whole arm-out self-picture thing. An entire album of you at your desk, you in your car, you on the porch, you with the dog, and you in the yard is really unnecessary. Plus you’re clogging my Newsfeed.

7. Application invitations are annoying. I do not want flair, I do not want buttons, I do not want bumper stickers, I do not want your book recommendations, I do not want gems or jewelry or characters or sayings or balloons or games. Enough!

8. If you’re going to do any of the above, please just don’t add me as a friend. Or if you’re going to comment negatively on my outfit/life choices in my pictures. Or about the guys who were in the vicinity when a photo was taken. Or friends my friends.

Stick by my guidelines and everything will go a-ok on Facebook. Despite the fact that you’ll definitely embarrass yourself at first, I really think you’ll end up liking it. Maybe next week I’ll teach you how to text. Maybe. No promises.

I’m loving: Hey Soul Sister by Train

Na Na Resolutions

2010-12-29T05:43:00.000-08:00

New year resolutions? Seriously?

People still do those?

I dunno…maybe it’s just me but I’ve never really understood the concept. I mean, if you really wanted to achieve something this year then you probably did.

And if you didn’t you probably had your reasons and you probably have a way to work around your reasons so as to achieve it next year. Right?

Simply put, the idea of having a to-do list every New Year just doesn’t cut it for me. If I want to get something done then I’ll just get it done! Period.

And do I really need a list to remind me that I need to hang out with my family more often? Or take out the trash every Friday? Or call Aunty Mary more often? Puhleez!

So I guess I’ll probably be the only one “cringing” at the new year bash, hoping no one goes like,

“So…Cathy, what are your new year resolutions?”

“Eer…I’m thinking of going blonde?”

Have a good one y’all - resolutions or not.

I’m loving: One in A Million – Ne-Yo

Some list!

2010-12-15T05:47:00.000-08:00

Seriously? Six P.E.V suspects?

SIX??

Darn…and here I was thinking I’d settle in with a bowl of popcorn and the remote as I watched Cabinet running around like headless chicken after hearing Ocampo’s dreaded list of names spelled out in typical opera fashion.

Well…I must say this kinda feels like someone’s stringing me – and the entire country – along.

Seriously.

There is NO WAY IN HOLY HELL that anyone can convince me that it only took SIX people to tear this country apart in 2007. No way.

Where the heck are the other names? And we know there are others.

Bring them out!

I’m loving : Son of A Gun - Janet Jackson

Deal With It!

2010-12-07T03:39:00.000-08:00

Ok…so a gal pal of mine got seriously stood up over the weekend.

Suffice it to say that she went off the deep end…totally crashed at my place and gave up all hope of staying alive.

Now I know its one of those sucky things that every lady wishes never happens to her – but it happens. And if you would like to know how to live through it then you should probably go ahead and read this article I stumbled upon in Cosmo.

Or you could stretch out your wrists and I’ll hand you the razor blade. No, seriously though…you get stood up by a guy you really, really, really, really like? Dust yourself off and move on! It aint the end of the world (apparently). And who’s to say that you’d have enjoyed yourself? It could have probably ended up being a crap date. And well, at least now you know the n***a aint worth sh*t (admittedly)

So, read on…

Nobody likes to get stood up! But it does happen. And if you date long enough, it’s bound to happen. It’s so embarrassing. You get left at a restaurant, the dude never shows, the man of your dreams just doesn’t call. No matter what the situation is, here are the five stages of dealing with a dating no-show.

1. Acceptance. He’s not in the hospital. His mother did not suddenly fall gravely ill. He did not lose his crackberry and has no way of contacting you. He. Stood. You. Up. Do not call the local hospitals. Do not call him. Do not call your mother. You have been stood up. Accept it. Then you can move on.

2. Embarrassment. Now that you’ve actually accepted the reality of what happened, you have to feel it before you move past it. Your level of humiliation will depend on several factors. How far the relationship was along. Where you were stood up. Your confidence level. If you were feeling low already, you’d been dating for a while, and he left you hanging in the middle of a romantic restaurant to sit by yourself at a candlelit table for two, this may be an unpleasant experience. If you were at home, it was the first or second date, and you don’t give a holy hell, this shouldn’t be too bad. After you’ve embraced it, let it go.

3. Anger. Do not throw something, especially your new iPhone. Call up your girlfriend to rage if you must, but remember it’s only going to increase your stress level. Reaching out to the guy who stood you up to holler at him will probably leave a bad taste in your mouth in the future. Take up kickboxing or meditate during yoga class, but don’t let your fury get the best of you. Breathe, girlfriend.

4. Moving On. There’s a saying that men are like buses, and what you need to do is get on the next one. No need to dwell on the dude of the past when there’s another better ride coming down the avenue. It doesn’t matter what you do, but don’t turtle, decide you’ll never date again, or play the victim. At least you’ve gotten the experience of getting stood up over with, right?

5. Why Me? It’s tempting to want to figure out why this happened. Are you a dog? Is he a dog? Are all people dogs? Do you have a limp? Is he an emotional cripple? Did you say something wrong? Who cares? It doesn’t matter why it happened, and there’s only one lesson to be learned: Standing someone up is a lame move. Be glad he spared you the rest.

Yup...easier said tha done. But you can do it.

I'm loving: Carlifornia Girls by Katy Perry

(Wrong) Questions Men Love to Ask About Women

2010-12-04T01:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes people ask questions that there are no right ways to answer. Sometimes they are deliberate trick questions, like, "Why is Obama afraid to show the public his birth certificate?" (you mean the one that is available all over the Internet?) or "Do you think she looks better than me?"

But a lot of times people honestly ask the wrong question without knowing it. Here are some I see guys continually asking about women, along with the question they should be asking if they actually want an answer.

#1. Why Do Girls Like Jerks?

The right question:

"What does [girl I am interested in] like in a guy?"

Are you attracted to girls based solely on how "nice" or "jerky" they seem? Why would they be then?

You don't even have to stop being a misogynist to recognize girls evaluate men in more than one dimension. Even a shallow girl looks for more than one thing. What about looks? Money? Fame? Penis size? Any of those could be higher on the checklist than "nice/jerk." And every girl is different.

For example, I like a guy who is smart, sarcastic and good at video games. (Hey, I can open my own jars but I can't get past the second level of NFS Carbon on my own.)

OK, OK ... I couldn't even get past level ONE.

One of my friends used to have a thing for junguz, and another needed to find a guy that shared her musical talent. And on the other end of the spectrum, I've had friends that just need to check for a penis and they're good.
Being nice is important to us, but it's not a free ticket to the bedroom if you've got none of the other things.

Just to be clear, there are actually girls for whom jerkiness is the first thing they're drawn to (or rather, they're drawn to other factors that tend to come packaged with jerkitude). But for a lot of them, this is because they've grown up being mistreated or abused, so trying to take advantage of that makes you a dick.

#2. What Does a Girl Mean When She Says X?

The right question (Plan A):

"Girl, what did you mean when you said X?"

Believe it or not, there is, in fact, no universal woman-code language. A girl who says she is "not ready for a relationship" may literally mean the very idea of dating terrifies her at the moment for whatever reason. She may be politely avoiding telling you that she doesn't find you attractive. She might be the manipulative harpy some men think all women are, and is playing games to see how much you want her. And of course, she may be a hipster who finds the word "relationship" too conformist and wants to have a "cooperative sex-love venture" with you.

So which one is it? Well, Plan A --and I know this is going to sound crazy -- is to ask her. I'm sure that you, the socially well-adjusted reader, would have already done that, but many people will just nod in understanding at the girl and then run away to ask other people, or complain on the Internet. I'd strongly suggest Plan A, but if that goes wrong, like she's terrible at explaining things, you might have to ask someone else.

Like if you were talking to Miss Teen South Carolina.

The right question (Plan B):

"What did [specific girl] mean when she said X?"

Here I would suggest asking someone -- and this is going to sound crazy again -- who knows her. Not someone who knows "girls," someone who knows this girl. "What does a girl mean when she says X?" is going to get you nowhere, but "What does Sheila mean when she says X?" might actually turn up something -- if you're asking someone who knows Sheila.

If you're asking someone who doesn't know Sheila and you get an answer, I would mentally cross that person off your list of people to ask for advice in the future.

#3. Why Do Hot Women Fish For Compliments By Pretending To Think They’re fat or Ugly?

The right question:

"How much does feeling fat or ugly bother this woman?"

The first misconception is that the women know they're not fat or ugly, and that they're fishing for compliments or playing some kind of power game. That happens, but usually the woman actually thinks she's fat or ugly, what with the media and body image and all that.

But let's not go too far in the other direction and think that women are constantly bathed in a depressing cloud of self-loathing. You're thinking of teenagers. But as women get older, feeling fat and ugly can actually be pretty routine, and less a part of your identity than something you check on every day. It's like having a hole in your pants or a spaghetti stain on your shirt -- dismaying to see in the mirror, but something you can fix or shrug off.

That's why you might have heard some women say, "Ugh, I feel fat today." Just today. Tomorrow I might look in the mirror and go, "You lookin' good, girlfriend." It depends on things like my hair and the clothes I'm wearing. For example, if I am wearing a girdle, I feel thinner

Don't you love it how they get women who don't need girdles to model girdles?

Do some women fish for compliments or attention by falsely claiming they feel so ugly? Sure. I've done it. (We were all teenagers once.) One clue is if they post an elaborately staged picture of them trying to look cute on Facebook or whatever, with a caption about how ugly this "candid" picture is.

"Ack! Someone just accidentally took this horrible picture of me while I was exercising!"

If you want to call them on it, I would advise being really really sure that's their game, and then saying, "OH GOD I'M TURNING TO STONE" or a good old, "Well, there's always personality." If she bursts into tears when she sees you, you probably should have been more sure. You asshole.

Im loving - Dutty Love by Sean Kingston Ft Nicki Minaj

Right as Rain

2010-11-26T22:23:00.000-08:00

I have never really had a problem figuring out people. In my circle of friends, I’m usually the one who’s good at getting character. I read you like a book and then I know exactly what kind of personality you harbour. It’s just something that comes naturally to me.

So when I thought I had figured out a certain fella, I found out in a quite unsavoury manner that I was dead wrong. I mean, it’s been said time and time again that the people who are closest to you are the ones with the capability to hurt you the most. Right?

I’ve learnt that many a time, this happens at least fifteen times in one’s lifetime. And if you’re any the wiser after being hurt, you’ll do better next time.

Wrong.

I don’t understand why I usually end up giving people the benefit of the doubt. Even when something is niggling to me (like, hey! remember the last time you were burnt by someone? hello, what happened to once bitten forever shy?)

Anyway, I had a good friend who happened to be really just a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I really need to rationalise here; is it therefore necessary to stop wearing one’s heart on one’s sleeve? Or should I just go back to treating everyone with just a hint of total disregard? Or should I never bare myself to anyone who I deem to be a friend?

Because I need to get back my perceptive powers. Because they’ve been failing me a lot of late.

I want to be right as rain again.

I’m loving: Kings and Queens – 30 Seconds To Mars

Senselessness

2010-10-14T01:54:00.000-07:00

I dunno…every day seems to trudge by without any vivre to it.

Its so unsettling…kinda makes me look towards a new dawn with some sense of apathy.

I have absolutely no idea how to turn this around.

There’s no sense, no purpose, no “aha” momentum to my days…they’re just….days.

I need a refresher…something, anything to kick-start what used to be newly borne pages of a newly printed book.

If I cant have this then what’s the point of having anything, anymore?

I'm rewinding: Disturbia - Rihanna

Dramaration

2010-10-11T03:09:00.000-07:00

Aiyay yai…

What a weekend.

What a blast of a weekend.

What a f**ked up way for a weekend to end.

I dunno…do these things happen to people because fate simply has a wicked sense of humor or what? Isn’t it logical to assume that if the weekend starts off on a high note then it’s probably gonna end on a similarly high note? I mean, its just common sense isn’t it? The way of things?

Yeah…up until Murphy’s Law decides to come a-knockin…

Damn.

Consider this…plan to rock naija nite. Check.

Plan to rock hot new outfit. Check.

Plan to head home no earlier than 4 and sleep till noon. Check.

Okay, the reality is;

Plan to rock naija nite. Uncheck.

Plan to head home no earlier than 4 and sleep till noon. Uncheck

Kenyans and their peculiar habits (as Safcom’s MJ avidly pointed out one time) led me to

a. Miss tickets

b. Not get to the venue because by 3p.m. the place was fuller than a can of sardines.

c. Nairobi traffic as we know it was threefold

So had to come up with a hastily scrambled up plan B which included:

Meeting up with some pal, who showed up with his pals, who ended up chewing a major blackout, which meant heading home earlier than 4, which meant sleeping in strange quarters, which meant leaving extra early, groggy and confounded by the sudden, unprecedented appearance of said pal’s ex, which meant, the exit was hasty and accompanied by quite unsavoury audibles.

Hmm…come to think of it, girlfriend has quite a mouth on her – would put any sailor to shame.

Anyhu, the long and short of it is nothing, and I mean NOTHING I had planned came to fruition.

Someone sometime mentioned that the best laid plan is no plan at all.

I think amma stick with that.

Coz every time I plan to have a thumping good time…something happens that just throws a spanner in the works and I end up falling down hard on my ass.

Goddamit!

I’m loving: Airplanes by B.O.B Ft Hayley Williams

Alter Attack!

2010-09-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

I’ve always prided myself with the notion that I can make my own decisions and hardly does peer pressure affect this process. Moreover, I have never really had to do something I never wanted to.

Yeah…right. That’s until I recently discovered (ok, it’s not so recent, considering I have known this for slightly over ten years) that I am more than one person. Uh huh…yeah.

Look, I’m no retard, everyone has their OMG moments where they suddenly realise that there exists more than one personality to speak of.

So yeah, I realised I have more than one (actually say three) different personalities. Now, I’m no Emily Rose so no need to call an exorcist. But I do know that my alters are pretty stubborn and can make me do basically anything; from dancing atop a barstool to jumping off a cliff(of course bungee-jump. What sort of jumping did you think I was referring to?)

Now, let me get to my point – so one of my alters was exceedingly in command this past few days and my, oh my, doesn’t she just do the darndest things!

I mean- I could get arrested when she’s in control. She totally throws all caution to the wind, doesn’t give two rat-tails about anything and would dive head first into quicksand just for fun. It’s quite scary when I think about it.

Its this scary…

Sasha Fierce aint got nothing on this banshee…she’s a hellcat. A very, very wild hellcat.

So I will simply put it across that this past few days have been insane; I shall not be held accountable for whatever activities I may have engaged in and suffice it to say that ultimately, it really isn’t my fault coz everybody knows that the mother personality is never really in control of her alters at some point. Come on, you know it’s true. Don’t you watch Lie to Me?

I was attacked by Crazy Alter Mama. And it was crazy beautiful.

I’m loving: Dog Days Are Over - Florence and The Machine

Passing stars…

2010-09-09T22:40:00.000-07:00

Just read of Rich Cronin’s passing on my way to work and my heart skipped a beat. Okay, so like some of you are asking, who the heck? He was one third of the famous 90s to early 2000 rock boy band LFO. Still not getting it? Okay, let me try again – think the all-time hits, Summer Girls, Life Is Good, Girl on TV or Every Other Time. You know, if you aint getting any of this then I’m not even sure why we’re even having this conversation in the first place…

Man, this takes me back to my early campus days (trust me, it aint as way back as I’d like everyone to believe) when I used to jam all the greatest rock hits and Billboard Top Tens…this definitely got me through what was probably one of the most gruelling and stress-inducing passages through my life – campus. Okay, fine campus is meant to be that moment in life where you “discover” yourself and if your lucky, make it through school without engaging in all manner of self-destructive behaviour et al. Oh, and have quite a whoop of a time while at it.

I did have fun – yeah, major fun…so I guess the rock helped. Plus the first mixtape I ever got from a guy was this cool rock CD that had awesome LFO, Linkin Park and all the other cool rock bands you could ever name in a heartbeat.

So it kills me to hear of yet another loved rocker’s demise…it kills me.

R.I.P Rich.

I’m loving: Life is Good - LFO

Is that blue skies I see?

2010-09-06T03:02:00.001-07:00

Its official – summer’s back! YEESS!

Gone are the mittens, scruffy scarves, legwarmers and leggings.

In come the fluttery, summer dresses, spaghetti tops, shorts and skirts, flip-flops and sandals. Of course i cant possibly wear these to work but the idea that ist possible to rock these once again is simply dizzying!

I love,love,love, LOVE the sunny days!

Let’s welcome the real September.

I’m loving: "Blue Sky" by Point of Grace

Of buses and new friends.

2010-09-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

WOW!!!

Ok…this feels amazingly weird.

I have never been this quiet and its good to be back after my looooong hiatus.

Anyhu, emotions aside (I swear I wasn’t sniffing…)

So…lets see, what’s been happening while I was away…well, aside from red-call scares, promulgation(is this term only meant to be used once in the Kenyan calendar or will it now move over to being a hit amongst new-born Luo babies??), nothing much seems to have occurred.

As for my ordinary life…well, I happened upon some one interesting on a recent trip from Kisumu. Suffice it to say that I actually struck an absorbing conversation with a hitherto kawa guy.

I almost always NEVER EVER talk to strangers in the bus; I always have my earphones plugged in snugly, or a book (Robert Ludlum or James Patterson novels are the best books to scare away any insistent pests on a long-distance trip. The size of the novel does the trick) or a fashion magazine. If none of this is handy, well a robotic stare in the offender’s direction does it. Or a stare that would shatter glass. Whichever comes first.

So I checked into my seat, strapped myself in – yeah, Kenyan roads aint the problem anymore, Kenyan drivers are! I wore my socks, pulled my polo-neck right around my neck and settled in for what was meant to be a long, snooze-filled journey back to Nairobi.

Until dude ambles into the bus and equally straps himself into the seat next to mine. I suppose he looked harmless enough but still – a cursory glance at him and I turned back towards the window. I didn’t expect the fellow to utter any words of greeting nor ask if I had a cold. Hmm…he probably thought I had the Swine Flu, or H1N1 whatever (is it still considered a pandemic?)

Anyhu, I said hello and closed my eyes. Exactly thirty winks later, he started again, “Eer...what brought you to Kisumu?”

Surely? Are you kidding me! It’s a cold night, I’m trying to get some shut-eye coz I’m working the following day and this guy wants to strike a conversation?

I almost tore my meagre hair out. But as mother always averred, always be kind but cautious with strangers. I looked at the guy – he didn’t seem strange to me. You know – like those Onyancha types. None of that. Infact, he was quite cute. Plus my big sister and her best buddy were only a couple of seats behind. Oh well, I was willing to break the rules for once.

So hence started what was to be a lengthy discussion…from his reason for coming to Kisumu(it was his girl’s birthday and he’d come over to spend some QT with her.Aaaw…aint that sweet?), to his work, my work, how annoying people can be, relationships(yeah, somehow that always features prominently in any conversation), why I’m in banking, his projects, my secret life, his secret life etc etc etc.

Before I knew it, we were in Nakuru and I was warning him not to take a smoke – yup, somehow I became the strict maternal figure that was going to squish my new-found accomplice to oblivion if he dared smoke (see, he’s trying to quit smoking – quite a noble decision if you ask me).

Eventually he had pity on me and allowed me to get some sleep, and even offered a shoulder (quite a cushy one too) to lie on. I must have snored in my sleep – I was so comfortable!

Nairobi came up faster than you could say Jack Daniels and I was soon unfolding myself from my seat, unable to comprehend how my day was gonna be. I definitely looked like a train wreck. We said our goodbyes – exchanged cards and hugs actually – and he was off.

I must say I got to learn something new that day:

1. Not everyone I sit next to on the bus is secretly harbouring thoughts of harvesting my liver or kidneys.

2. I can safely travel without my books and I’ll live.

3. There’s actually something like “other interesting people” out there. Try it.

I have a new pal! YAY!

It’s good to be back.

I’m loving: I’ll Be There – The Rembrandts.

Mr Man

2009-09-24T04:18:00.001-07:00

Mr Man.

He's the epitome of all things masculine:
Fine face, fine physique,
fine attitude, fine career,
fine sense - and sensibility.

He doesn't waver when he speaks.
He stares right through you when he addresses you.
He is not afraid to let his emotions get the better of him.

He will sweep you off your feet- and then some more

He never strays from his word - his word is indeed his bond.
He makes a vow and he never disavows.
You come first and all else follows.

He will be the one to fight the demons in your life -
every nightmare, every ghoul,
every scepter shudders at the sound of his voice,
at the tread of his feet.

He calms you and shuns the whistling wind that keeps you awake at night.
The cold mist will not engulf you in its drought - he shall not allow it.
Never will your eyes see sadness - only happiness and cheer.

He touches you and all else fades into oblivion.
He raises you up and makes your skin shiver.
Your eyes dilate and your heart catches in your throat - he makes you want to...

He is Mr Man - the one. The dreamcatcher.
He is Mr Man - all or nothing
He is Mr Man - the man of your dreams...
Never will he be real.

Mr Man...
...I stop seeking you.

Black Magic

2009-09-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful world this would be,
If you'd come and spread this black magic with me.
Close your eyes and let your mind flow free,
Stare into the blackness,the magic,you have it,
The magic.

Let my magic
Incinerate you,
Permeate you,
Sedate you,

Expose you,
Restore you...
and heighten your six senses,
So you can see through your lenses.

Let us enter any court,
Any podium,
Address any audience
As we wield the power of this magic.

My black magic...

Heal...

2009-07-24T03:53:00.000-07:00

In my darkest hour,
In my deepest despair,
Will you still care.
Will you be there?

In my trial and tribulations,
through our doubts and frustrations,
In my violence, In my turbulence,
Through my fear and my confessions,

In my anguish and my pains,
through my joy and my sorrow,
in the promise of another tomorrow

I will never let you part,
for you are always in my heart...

Michael Jackson in "Heal the World"

For Peter Pan...

2009-07-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

I've had a pretty rough month...but well...that aside,everything's looking pretty retarded.

First, some blue-eyed blondie (Farah Fawcett, i think) dies.Right about the same time that the king of Pop rests his mantle. I mean, how unfair is that??

You die right around the same time a LEGEND is kickin it...and leaving no blood on the dancefloor.

I must say, enough has been said about Jacko's death, why, when, how etc etc he died... I honestly don't give two freaking rat tails about all that. All I can think of is his genius....child prodigy, turned Peter Pan, turned white woman...but way ahead of his time as far as his musical career was concerned.

Who can honestly say that dude never had it?

And lets not start with his flaws - God knows, we are all human, so yeah, deal with it!! Everybody's got flaws.

I just cant imagine that he really wasn't as Invincible as I would have hoped. But HIStory will forever live on every man, woman and child's heart - well, at least those who really experienced MJ and his art.

Damn, I miss you.

Fly, fly, fly with the Lost Boys. Fly Peter Pan to your Neverland. And never be sad again.

Im loving: Man in the Mirror

Who knew

2009-06-10T10:29:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to this song over and over for the past few days when I couldn't sleep...and I had cried too much that my eyes were swollen.
Anyway, I feel that these words speak right to me about what's happened between me and someone I dearly loved...and is now gone away from me.

WHO KNEW - P!nk

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

END

They say time heals all wounds.....I hope forever doesn't take too long...I need to breath again.

Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud - At Work

2009-05-08T02:54:00.001-07:00

A pal of mine sent me this on my email, and I couldnt agree more.
I especially dig nos. 6, 17, 19 and 38...triple haha!
1.I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

2. How about never? Is never good for you?
3. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.
4. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.
5. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
6. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
7. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
8. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
9. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

10. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.
13. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
14. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely
coincidental.
15. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
16. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
17. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

18. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?

19. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
20. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
21. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
22. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
23. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
24. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.

25. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
26. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
27. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
28. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
29. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
30. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
31. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

32. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
33. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
34. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

35.Aren't you a black hole of need.

36. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
37. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
38. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma

39. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.

40. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
41. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.
42. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
43. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
44. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.
45. Don't believe everything you think.
46. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring

Enjoy your week

The Duck and the Guilt

2009-02-11T05:50:00.000-08:00

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.
He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.
He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target.

Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the Dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen." Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go Fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make Supper."
Sally just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help." She whispered again, "Remember the duck?" So Sally Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, He finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.
Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you."

**********

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?
Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done, And the devil Keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad Habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ....whatever it is....You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing..... He has seen your whole life.

He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.
He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God's grace and Mercy that we are saved.

Go ahead and make the difference in someone's life today. Share this with a friend and always remember: God is at the window.

Happy 2009

2009-01-11T01:49:00.000-08:00

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
...and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
Give your heart to everyone you don't want to lose in 2009, if you care.
'Be kinder than necessary
because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Have a great new year.

The Speech of A Lifetime by Barrack Obama

2008-11-04T22:31:00.000-08:00

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware , the Vice President-elect of the United States , Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics – you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to – it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington – it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston .

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime – two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor's bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you – we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years – block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek – it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers – in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House – a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, "We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection." And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world – our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down – we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security – we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright – tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America – that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta . She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing – Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons – because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America – the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression a cro ss the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham , a bridge in Selma , and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin , a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America , through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves – if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America

YES WE CAN!!!

2008-11-04T22:15:00.000-08:00

Martin Luther King Jnr. said it in his speech, “I Have A Dream.”

The brooding statue of America’s 3^rd president, Abraham Lincoln offered many an optimist the desire to dream.

They said it would be a long day coming before we could ever see a Black man run for – and win – the presidency.

Well, they said pigs would fly….

And here we stand today; the 5^th day of the month of November, the year 2008.

The day when history was rewritten.

The day change came to America. And to the rest of the world.

The day everyone waited with bated breath for that bell to toll the good news.

The day Senator Barrack Obama became the 44^th president of the United States of America.

The day when it was indeed noted worldwide…that never has it been more fashionable to be black. Black, firm, proud, strong, ambitious, intelligent, wise and ready to serve.

I salute Barrack Obama.

His life is the stuff of legend.

YES WE CAN!!!

Chew on This...

2008-10-30T01:02:00.001-07:00

This was in the Standard Newspaper some time back by humor columnist Ted Malanda. Makes you wonder what this world is coming to, considering that our generation should probably be more successful than our priors, what with technology and advanced “knowledge” et al…

“When I quit my previous job, my employer refused to part with his contribution of KSh390,000 towards my pension saying I had to wait till I became 55, wrinkled and frail before he paid me.

One and a half years ago, I asked him to transfer that withheld pension to my new boss. "I want to consolidate my savings in one basket," I lied. Truth is I was moving my money because I don’t trust government pension schemes.

To my great surprise, they sent a cheque for KSh430,000 last week. In other words, my pension had not been ‘eaten’ as I had feared. It has actually been laying eggs and in three years, it has made me KSh40,000 richer.

Yet when I resigned in 2005, a quarter an acre of land in the neighbourhood of Ongata Rongai was going for half a million bob, payable in beer rounds and small cash installments. Today, the same piece goes for KSh1.2 million, hard cash.

Thus, anyone who bought land is getting rich without lifting a finger while I and millions of other idiots(like yours truly…yes me, the bloggist) whose savings are locked up in fancy pension schemes are only paying investment bankers and getting poorer.

In fact, when we retire, that pension won’t even be worth a skinny he-goat. (Or a Vitz; that crappy contraption that’s invaded the streets of Nairobi)

When my father retired in 1977, I was in Standard Two. His pension was 700 bob a month. Last year, it had appreciated to KSh2,000 — the equivalent of an average beer bill for the evening.(Or a nice pair of sexy stilettos)

To be honest, I still get shocked that the old man, aided by his cute wife who happened to be my mother, squeezed us through school. Don’t forget that unlike these days when we have one spoilt brat, my parents practically raised a football team. Of course, they didn’t achieve this feat on the old man’s KSh700-a-month pension.

Foresight.

Being a man of foresight, he had invested in two zebu heifers in 1959. The magic about zebus, what colonial farmers derisively called shenzi (stupid) cattle, is that they can literally survive through hell.

Unlike pampered hybrid cattle, zebus don’t need veterinary doctors, artificial insemination, mineral water and luxurious foods like Napier grass and biscuits. They are tough. They practically live on sisal and boiled rags.

By the time the old man was fired in 1977, his two heifers had multiplied to 85, including Jomo, a champion bull that sired calves left, right and centre and held the village bullfight champion award for a record four years.

It is those zebus that took my siblings and I through school. Every beginning of term, he would sell a cow or two and shoe us — three pupils at any given time — off to school, while Jomo did his thing. Now contrast that with yours truly, my father’s allegedly "educated and widely traveled" son.

leaky affairs

I own neither land nor livestock. My puny savings are instead locked up in fancy unit trusts, risky insurance schemes, questionable stocks, leaky pension schemes and a second-hand car that guzzles fuel like a witch and depreciates in value each day.

While my father wakes every morning to his mooing assets and the comforting aroma of fresh cow dung, I could wake up to news that some crooked investment broker has tinkered with my stocks and rendered me destitute.

My father knew. Jomo could always sire another calf. But a task force won’t bring back money that a government pension fund took from me by force and gleefully flushed down the urinal.”

I can easily related to Malanda’s ruminations. What a life…it really makes one feel quite wasted now, doesn’t it??

N.B: Italicized phrases are Citycat’s random thoughts…

Always Have A Plan B

2008-10-29T04:40:00.000-07:00

I came across this story; and it kinda put things in perspective. That Plan B? A major priority!

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the
lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the
coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it.

The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the

lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom. The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud. Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last.

After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free!
She was free! Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out
the identity of the dead prisoner beside her.

To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead
caretaker…

Many people believe they have life all figured out..... but sometimes
it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it.

Think of a 'Plan B'!

Truisms...

2008-10-13T02:29:00.000-07:00

Truisms…

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- BARACK OBAMA

Cartoon of the month!

2008-09-25T03:11:00.000-07:00

I have to hand it to Gado;dude is a genius...

If this here illustration doesnt make u bray with laughter, then nothing will. I mean, look at those expressions on Uhuru and Karua's faces...MY GOD!

Lets see...satire, check. Wit...check check. Sarcasm...triple check!

Enough said.

Looking back...

2008-09-16T01:12:00.000-07:00

http://www.eastandard.net/politics/InsidePage.php?id=1143994954&cid=289&

I came across this interesting article, just as I was ruminating over issues regarding our country’s CEO’s performance record.

I must say, dude hit the nail precisely on the head. And with this in mind, I can only add my 5 cents worth: this country was more or less better off in the Moi days.

Yup, there I said it. Now bring out the rungus and machetes…but before you cast the first stone, you might want to think about this a bit. Go on, chew on this piece of cud…

Does anyone honestly feel that this country’s institutions are much more efficient than they were some 8 years ago?

True some exceptions can be drawn, and even some privatized institutions have a lot to show for themselves. But I sincerely miss the days when Moi would just crack the whip and all disgruntled and unruly "chieftains" would be back on track, toeing the line. True, the former CEO was a bit too heavy on the “Big Man” character, but I feel in the long run, this country was spared a lot of mudslinging and name calling as is now the norm amongst our MPs.

Well, we may draw comparisons for an entire decade but methinks Moi knew how to keep his country well oiled and running. Of course, it reached a point when democracy(which can be very very loud) had to have the day; but I wish Kibaki would have borrowed a leaf or two from the “Professor of politics”…

Of true women friends …

2008-09-12T05:20:00.000-07:00

There are women who will make your life miserable if you allow them to.

There are women who will go behind your back to report/bitch talk/yap/gossip/hate on you,

There are also women who want what you have: your job, your confidence, your peace and joy - and your husband!

There are those who will look at you from head to toe and find a fault to pick on.
Then there are those who want to be you (not realizing that you have your own insecurities).
There are those who want to know where you shop just so they can rate your class and how far up the ladder they are.

Then of course, there are those who secretly want your boyfriend or husband.One truth in life is that even if drawn together by the same faith, community or interests, not every woman can be your true friend.

A true friend would never compete with you. In fact, when life beats you up so hard that you can't dream, she dreams for you.

When you can't afford a trip out of town, she pays for your ticket. If you introduce her to a male friend, she will ask you a hundred times if you like the guy before she shows any interest.

She would never date your ex because when he became a jerk to you, he might as well have become a jerk to her as well, never mind who was at fault. I have found that it is necessary to find female friends (and become one as well) with whom you connect deeply.

Women who are confident in who they are without being arrogant.

Women who know that there is more to life than who is dating who and who bought what from where.

Today, tell all your TRUE female friends that your world would be less without them.

Friendship

is a promise spoken by heart. It is not given by a pledge, neither is it written on a paper.

It is a promise renewed every time friends keep in touch.

69 Questions

2008-09-12T03:09:00.000-07:00

1. What’s worse - Physical or Mental cheating?
Si cheating is cheating?

2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
To forgive….forgetting…well, that’s a matter of the heart, and frankly speaking, my heart tends to overwrite my brain many a time.

3. Can men and women be ” Just Friends?”
Heck yeah…happens like ALL the time

4. Dating co-workers?
Mmm….

5. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?
Hurray! Where, when, what time? Can I carry two hand luggage pieces???

6. On the way to the electric chair - What’s your last meal?
Meal??!! Are u freakin kiddin me?? I’m about to die n***a!!!

7. Water parks are…?
WTF are water parks???

8. When you are “In Love” do you notice other people?
What do “other people” and “in love” have to do with each other???

9. Is flirting cheating?
Ok, didn’t I just answer a cheating question somewhere along the line??? C’mon now!

10. Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
Def – 1 super duper friend!

11. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?
Who me? A bitch? B***h its ON!!!

12. Are you ok with your significant other being friends with an ex?
Significant other? Significant how? When did this significance happen? Who gives a rat’s tail anyways?

13. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Ok, this is outrageously hilariuos!!! We r jus livin together!!!Helllooooo??

14. Favorite sport?
Sport….hmm….lacrosse???

15. Is toilet paper hung over or under?
WTF???

16. Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or end of the tube?
Ok, this is a trick question, right?

17. How do you feel about tanning booths?
Tanning….ok, I ain’t white…so clearly…

18. Friends with benefits?
Friends are friends…whether with benefits or not.

19. Do you believe in angels?
Yup….I know a couple…

20. Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Take….

21. Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
Nope…that would beat the whole purpose, now wouldn’t it?

22. Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Nope

23. Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
Shhh…don’t say that aloud! DAMN! (yes I would)

24. What color looks best on you?
Blue...and black

25. If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?
Tennis...I love them short skirts!

26. Ever break up with someone and regret it?
Mmm…not reeeeally.

27. Are you a jealous person?
I can be…

28. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
NO! its plastic!

29. When do you want to get married?
Who wants to get married?? C’mon…trick questions…gat to stop!

30. Who has the sexiest accents?
Ok….sexy is relative…so…Brits??

31. Next concert you’re attending?
I would only ever attend a rock concert, and seeing that we’re in Kenya…I’m guessing that will never happen…so…never?

32. Favorite song?
Contagious by Avril. Oh…gat to squeeze in Gravity by Sara Bareilles

33. Favorite movie?
Hitman…must have watched this like 10 times…probably know it backwards

34. What’s your occupation?
Editor…holy cow! I have a deadline!!! EEK!!

35. What’s your sign?
Taurus….I am a BULL!!!

36. Are you a beach, country or city person
City, city, city…I enjoy the fast life…

37. Best vacation spot you’ve been to?
Malindi…

38. Have you ever had a “secret affair?”
Hmm…define secret…

39. If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?
“Non-traditional”???

40. Favorite show as a child?
The Smuffs

41. Where do you spend most of your money?
Shopping for shoes!!

42. Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
I love my job…just hate the place…make sense??

43. Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to work?
Good grief!! Does that actually happen for real?

44. Favorite summer drink?
Ok, we are ALWAYS experiencing “summer”…that said…Alvaro! And no, I don’t care whether its alcoholic or not.

45. Can you change a car tire?
Why should I?? Aren’t there some guys who get paid to do that?

46. Favorite cologne / perfume?
Flower by Kenzo

47. Favorite candle scent?
Potpourri

48. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
Yeah…my whole life is practically an adventure…

49. What is your My Space profile song?
My-what???

50. Favorite concert attended?
Ok, I just did a concert question somewhere up yonder..

51. Would you date an already attached man / woman?
Attached? To what? Or where? Are we talking Siamese twins or somethin?

52. Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?
I would sing, period.

53. Can you shoot pool?
No, but I can shoot a b***h…

54. Do you like your siblings’ significant others?
Ok, this significance ish is so yesterday.

55. Can you drive a stick?
Drive a what? Ok, I need a translator.

56. Did you wear white at your wedding?
Wedding…again. (Huge, collective sigh)

57. Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Mmm…lets see…I’ve hopped on the spot, jogged, twiddled my thimbs, wringed my fingers till they turned blue, chewed on my lips, tugged at my meager hair…well, sitting doesn’t quite fit in here, now does it?

58. Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
Beach, no. Bed yes.

59. Favorite TV show/s?
Gilmore Girls, 24, 2 and A Half Men, Prison Break, America’s Next Top Model, Scrubs, Ugly Betty

60. What do you think about gay marriage?
I don’t think about it.

62. What are you waiting for at the movies?
What?

63. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas!!

64. Describe your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
Ok, I’m a very refined person, so clearly mudslinging competitions and cat fights aint my thing. I prefer strategic arbitration when dealing with distasteful incidents. Catch my drift?

65. Piercing?
Yes…ears

66. Tattoos?
I want

67. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Mmm…

68. Thongs? yes or no.
Maybe

69. Write 2 truths and 1 lie.
I don’t want to. Lying is bad

May it be noted that shortly afterwards, yours truly passed out

Men, men, men…

2008-09-09T01:14:00.000-07:00

N.B. : Yes…its true…every once in a while, I digress and address less “serious” matters (a la politics n Co.) So, true to my spontaneous nature, I post this somewhat “less tedious” tidbit…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A wise man once told me, "My advice to you young lady... don't try to understand men because you only end up being more confused than before..."

Well, lets just say I think dude was on to something...

See…

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men
are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men, have NO money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men with money think we are only after their
money.(hmm…anybody differ?)

7. The handsome men without money are after
OUR money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and
somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that
are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money,
are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money

and THANK GOD are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!(ok,

seriously, what’s up with that?)

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest

in us when we take the initiative

So once again I think…for ONCE…the wise man was right…

Just a thought

2008-08-21T00:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, it seems that the controversy surrounding the sale of the Grand Regency hotel just went a notch higher. Apparently, the Libyan owners of the luxurious hotel have changed the name to Laico regency or something of the sort. Now, if that’s not a lousy stamp of ownership being brandished before us, then I don’t know what is. The hint is loud and clear for all you doubting Thomases; the hotel is ours so back off! That’s what they seem to be saying.

So I’m left to wonder; what exactly will the Cockar commission accomplish, now that business seems to be going on as usual? The hard fact is that the Libyans are not about to back off. They have a tenacious grip on the hotel title deed and no amount of “evidence”, accusations and counter accusations will make them budge.

Frankly speaking, this all seems to me to be a waste of time, energy and money. Just like any other commission of inquiry, this one will also go down in history as yet another group of persons who sat down and produced a document. Nothing will come of it. Because one would expect some sort of intervention whereby, the disputed hotel is reclaimed by the CBK until the matter of the inappropriate sale is sorted out.

But if the events on the ground are anything to go by, then this is all but a pipe dream. It was only about three weeks ago that Gaddafi’s special envoy, Mr Bashir Saleh Bashir gave a terse statement to the effect that the Libyan government is officially the new owner of the hotel(whether we like it or not) and that the debate as to whether the hotel should be repossessed by the CBK is moot.

Well, there you have it; the Grand Regency, sorry, the Laico Regency, is well and truly gone. Yup, what’s gone is gone. Deal with it!

In other news…

The VP’s wife apparently pockets 400K per month. Okay, I may be behind events on this one but seriously, someone explain to me exactly why she is earning so much money. What exactly is all this money for? And when was it decided that she should be paid by taxpayers’ money for doing whatever it is she is supposed to do? Crikes! What else is new???

My God! This is really the straw that breaks the camel’s back!

A DVD a Day May Keep Fazul Away

2008-08-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I thought that in this day and age of unfathomable technology and mind reeling advancement, the entire world would have caught on and tried out a few high-tech antics in almost every sector; from science, agriculture to even security.

Of course the “First” world is well past this stage of trying out the novel technical mish mash that constitutes technological know how. It’s the developing countries that are slowly, but steadily getting grip of the wonders of technology and trying to put these to use to better the performance of their institutions.

Well, I may have beaten around the bush somewhat so let me hit the nail squarely on the head. Is it that our Kenyan police force are not dazzled by any of this technical how or is it that they are completely stymied when it comes to dealing with the apprehension of international terrorists and other criminals?

Take for instance the case of Fazul Abdullah a.k.a Fazul of the August bomb blast that shook Nairobi in 1998. The guy is clearly leaving the cops in a bit of a stupor. Because if the facts are right, then this man may just be the next best bet after Houdini; he has managed to creep, crawl, jump, dash and sidle through every possible nook, exit and barricade that the police have managed to create and left them looking dimmer than a hydrogen bulb.

Why is it that the police have been unable to nab the “most wanted terrorist” on this side of the Sahara? Despite the numerous tip offs, close encounters and manpower that they have, they simply just cant catch Fazul! And to think that the fellow has a kidney problem that would make a toothache seem like a mild cold. He probably cant even walk straight. But no! Somehow, some way, he has managed to elude the police, over and over again.

The worst part is that they always appear thoroughly unfazed and diffident when relaying their incapability to nab the bomber. Like recently when a team of anti-terrorist officers ambushed a building where Fazul was hiding in, it somehow didn’t seem to cross their minds that the building needed to be completely surrounded. So while the good police were busy hammering in the front door, the terrorist managed to sneak out through the back and rush away to sweet freedom. Again!

For crying out loud, haven’t the numerous programmes such as 24, Prison Break and CSI, just to name a few, taught these fellows anything? Okay, I know these programmes may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but frankly speaking, if I was a cop, I think I’d be keen to know just what exactly these “cop programmes” have to offer that I don’t already know. Whether its fictitious or fact. Because I bet there are some pretty cool moves and antics that many a cop would learn. Even our very own “Cobra Squad” may have something to offer.

Forget the crazy sci-fi effects and the coded gibberish that the actors bark at each other when approaching a building where a suspect is holed in. Concentrate on how they approach the building or suspect, how they speak, how they walk, crawl, creep or dash in and how they accost the suspect etc etc. I think its surprising what one can learn from these programmes.

True, they are just but figments of some very creative director’s imagination, but frankly, some ideas are quite feasible.

So please, someone lend these guys a DVD or two. Maybe this may just give them a couple of ideas on how to deal with Fazul and his cohorts.

And his nine lives may quickly come to a screeching end.

Schools Fiasco

2008-07-22T01:54:00.000-07:00

The kids are at it again. Strike – Season 3…clearly we are being feted by the best of the best.

Something is seriously wrong; I know strikes are no strange thing but 300 schools affected! In a span of 4 weeks! Over 70 students have been arrested and charged with arson and damage to property…That has got to send some alarm bells ringing.

The Minister of Education has moved quickly to set up [yet another] commission of inquiry to look into this ‘unprecedented” rise of school unrest. Clearly, our memories are wanting. Wasn’t it just the other day [year 2001] when Henry Kosgey was minister of the same ministry, that a commission was set up to look into the very same issue? And didn’t this committee, chaired by Director of Education, Mrs Naomi Wangai, table a comprehensive report of its findings? And didn’t this report outline the various recommendations that would help to put such unrest at bay?

Well, in true Kenyan fashion, this never happened….the Wangai report’s recommendations have never been implemented. Despite its candid proposals that included the amendment of the outdated Education Act and streamlining the mode of school governance, nothing has been done yet.

And here we go, forming another commission that is of course, funded by none other than you and I (yes, taxpayers’ money) to tell us the same old things that we already know. The same things that were mentioned seven years ago. Its sickening, to say the least.

I think kids these days have had it too easy. No corporal punishment, thanks to the Children’s Act which abhorred this form of discipline to the point of prohibiting it altogether; this must have been the point of no return. Hi-fi systems and DVD screens in 62-seater buses, three course meals, mobile phones(complete with airtime) and enough pocket money to make a casual labourer in Majengo green…well, these kids sure do know how to ask for the most amazing things…at least that’s what I have managed to gather from the kids’ wish lists, according to the news.

For crying out loud, do these kids know how hard life is out here? Okay, they may have their innocent, blue-eyed moments where they feel they should have it easy in school but then again, did we have it easy? Definitely not! And this was thoroughly instilled into our subconscious. School was a military-like institution where such lofty ideas such as the ones these kids are airing could not even stand the light of day. Mobile phones? Get out of here! Exams are too tough? Crikes! That’s the whole point of school, dummies! Its not meant to be a holiday camp. Its meant to be a place that toughens you and turns your skin into hide. Impermeable to all the stuff that life will throw at you once you’re out of there.

Well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see if the cane and switch will triumph and find their way back to the classroom. Because as long as we try to be mellow with the kids, they’ll always cry over anything. Even the razor – when we know damn well it will cut them…

The Grand Scam(Part 3)

2008-06-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

Dominic Odipo’s commentary, in The Standard on June 30^th2008, was well on point. He argued that Cabinet Ministers are knowingly ignoring the rule of law largely because they know that even if they flout a thousand laws, nothing whatsoever will happen to them. And he’s right. After all, this is Kenya; nothing ever happens to the tope elite, even when they contravene the rule of law. They are indeed the “untouchables.” That’s why Amos Kimunya can afford to say that all the ministers who are chastising him for selling off public property at a throw away price, should themselves resign as they are proving to be incompetent.

I must admit that I too have been thoroughly bemused by this apparently “clean deal” that is the sale of the Grand Regency and all the bickering and cacophony that has kicked off the week.

I may not understand the dynamics with which Amos Kimunya “sealed the deal”, so to speak, nor who exactly are the new owners of this controversial piece of property. But what I do know for a fact is that Kimunya will not resign.

He knows that whatever he did was purely based on vested interests. He dared not spare a thought for the taxpayers.

And he did all this with the comforting notion that absolutely nothing would be done to him.

Infact, it would come as a huge surprise if he were to actually heed the full throated calls of Kenyans and his colleagues alike and resign. Because, as we all know, Kenyan (and even African) political leaders are not famous for their ability to exercise honesty and do the noble thing; admitting that one is wrong and stepping aside for investigations to take place.

So as Mr. Odipo pointed out, our Cabinet ministers will continue to break the law with outright impunity, because they just don’t care about the ramifications.

For all the Kenyans and politicians baying for Kimunya’s blood, spare a thought for this evaluation: If Samuel Kivuitu, he of the infamous ECK, failed to tender his resignation, even after presiding over botched elections, why is it that we believe that Kimunya will resign?

Seriously, the man even dared to retort on national TV that he would “burn with the country”, if that was deemed fit by the electorate! We all know that never happened. The man and his band of commissioners, is still drawing his hefty salary package every end month. No signs of burning with the country there…

Well, I will simply lean back and watch how this drama will unfold. But pray, do forgive me my fellow citizens if I don’t bet my two cents that Kimunya will do the honourable thing. Well…at least not unless he’s dragged out of office by a dozen horses and a carriage.

Tax Them!

2008-06-19T00:17:00.000-07:00

I’m at a loss – someone help me out here…

I don’t know which is more pathetic; the whines of an eight year old, whose got a piece of meat stuck in his molar, or the whines of grown up men and women, who are grumbling about the possibility of their larger than life allowances being taxed.

God knows this country’s taxpayers are already bent double at the waist with the weight of MPs salaries. Earning over 200,000 shillings per month(this is the only bit that’s taxed) and scooping enormous allowances that sum up to a total earning of about 850,000 shillings…this is really the height of irony, in a country that’s reeling from post-election violence effects, spiralling inflation rates and soaring food prices.

Kenya’s MPs earn more than their British counterparts and are among the most highly paid legislators in the continent. So when Finance Minister, Amos Kimunya decided to propose a tax cut of the MPs huge allowances, the expected happened – grumbling, whining and outright rage. How dare the Finance Minister consider such a despicable idea? The nerve! Oh, the shame of being taxed! MPs are not happy. Well, at least the majority of them aren’t.

I honestly used to believe that anyone with a conscience would never be able to sleep comfortably, knowing full well the problems plaguing his neighbours and also knowing that he could do something about it. But as far as our MPs are concerned; I gave up on them a long time ago. Because while their constituents continue to endure the daily grind that is life, the MPs continue to live the high life. They build palatial homes, cruise in fuel guzzlers, eat the choicest meat and generally live on the lap of luxury. All in the full glare of their constituents’ bleary eyes.

So forgive us, oh worthy “honourable members of parliament” if we side with Mr. Kimunya on this one. Because he seems to be listening to our pleas, rather than “playing the public gallery” as Peter Kenneth suggests. Okay, even if he is(I don’t really care), at least he has the guts to propose the “unthinkable” for the second time. I just hope that this time, his noble motion wont be scuttled out of the August House. We all know they will anyway. I’m just trying my hand at some optimism.

But I seriously think its well overdue, this whole idea. These people need to know that if it wasn’t for us (and an inept electoral commission), they wouldn’t be feeling on top of the world. Those pedestals on which they perch can easily come down.

So while the likes of Bonny Khalwale (Ikolomani MP) argue that those calling for tax have already benefited from financial scandals, Kenyans continue to shake their heads in disbelief. I mean, who gives two hoots whether some MPs have enriched themselves from shady deals or not! After all, birds of a feather flock together; and these birds all seem alike to me. So big deal! All we want to see is some action – let these people be taxed! That’s one way of showing Kenyans that they seriously care about our suffering. And that they too have consciences.

We are behind you 100% Mr. Kimunya. Don’t let your colleagues talk you out of this one or else you will have failed the populace mightily.

On that note:

Will these retail chains and kiosks quit messing around? I’m still waiting for the price of a loaf of bread to go down by 5 shillings, at least. Hello??? Kimunya zero rated tax on basic commodities like bread and rice, and reduced tax on wheat. So that really translates to something like this – BREAD IS BACK ON THE BREAKFAST TABLE! (At least it should be…)

Who will save Zimbabwe from Mugabe?

2008-06-16T00:51:00.001-07:00

I think it reaches a point in time when every man – however resilient and hardy – puts down his tools of trade and calls it a day. Well, all save for one Comrade Bob.

I am at my wits end on this one – seriously, how long will it take before someone saves Zimbabwe from this scourge that represents itself as the President? How long will it take before Zimbabweans are relieved of this unbearable yoke?

Not only has Mugabe decided that he will not accept defeat; he has also threatened to declare war if the unthinkable happens – if Morgan Tsvangirai wins the run off elections. And he will even seek the support of former war veterans to ensure that absolute power remains his forever. Okay, call me a ranting, raving b**** but frankly speaking, this guy is totally deranged, mad, out of touch with reality and good for nothing!

I cant believe that Africa just watches and goes on with business as usual, while our brothers and sisters in Zimbabwe are suffering the height of autocracy and totalitarianism.This man; a man who was once the darling of Kwame Nkrumah’s Pan africanism dream, has steadily brought this erstwhile bread basket of Africa to its knees. And he doesn’t seem to be quitting either. He has destroyed a once vibrant economy, gagged the Fourth estate, frustrated democratic efforts by the Opposition and lobby groups and basically reduced the country to a shell of hopelessness and disillusionment.

And Thabo Mbeki hasn’t succeeded much in talking down Mugabe’s draconian ventures. Im still wondering what exactly Thabo is thinking...I mean, how hard is it for him to just tell Bob to get his act together?

What the world needs to know, and Africa as well, is that Mugabe’s reign of terror is not only affecting Zimbabweans, but the entire continent as a whole. Why? Because this is a scar on the conscience of the continent and it will never heal entirely, unless we all do something about it.

Okay, I know you're probably wondering what I expect people to do about a psychotic octogenarian who'se refused to release his clutches on power. Fine, petitions have been signed and protests staged. Leaders have joined hands to call for democracy in this country. But is it enough?

Zimbabweans are being coerced to vote for Mugabe, or die. Yes, due to the dwindling food supply in the country, the only people who will get their rations from the government are those who hold a ZANU PF party card. Unbelievable!

Something needs to be done; in this day and age, there is hardly room left for such dictatorial systems to prevail. I mean, come on! Even Nepal's monarchy is crumbling! This unbelievable cloak of sovereignty that Mugabe uses as a shield to "protect" Zimbabwe from “outside interference” shouldn’t stand. When will the International community stand up once and for all and demand Comrade Bob’s resignation? By hook or by crook?

He cannot rule forever. And neither can he rule a people who have lost hope and faith in him. He should read the writing on the wall: his time is up. Go home Bob!

Better Living

2008-05-28T01:43:00.000-07:00

Adapted from Living Wisdom with His Holiness The Dalai Lama (Sounds True, 2006).

Here are beautiful guidelines from His Holiness The Dalai Lama for living an ethical life. At their heart is a way to keep ourselves from harming others and to cultivate a path of virtue in the world.

“Self-interest is at the root of any intention to harm others; it is not wholesome. Therefore, a bodhisattva (a follower of the Buddhist way of life) restrains the attitude of self-interest.

What does self-interest mean? We do not talk about completely forgetting ourselves, because in order to strive for buddahood, a bodhisattva must develop strong, determined self-confidence. But we have to clearly distinguish between this and an inferior kind of self-cherishing. This can be accomplished by following the Ten Virtuous Actions”—His Holiness The Dalai Lama

• Protecting and saving life.

• Giving and not taking what is not given.

• Treating your partner respectfully—respecting your marriage vows.

• Speaking honestly.

• Speaking with the goal to bring harmony among beings.

• Speaking gently.

• Refraining from gossip.

• Being happy for others’ accomplishments.

• Being loving toward all.

• Having a view that includes karma and understands the middle way between the two extreme views of eternalism and nihilism, accompanied by the two kinds of accumulations (of merit and wisdom).

Africa Liberation Day

2008-05-26T00:22:00.001-07:00

Apparently, last Sunday(May 25^th) was Africa Liberation Day(ALD). Not that I had any idea, because sincerely speaking, my mind was quite out of focus. I happened to hear someone commenting about it on the radio in the morning and it raised my curiosity somewhat. Now, I bet there are quite a number of us who had no clue that ALD was yesterday.

A brief history lesson:

In years gone by, the Day used to be marked officially by several governments and unofficially celebrated by many groups in Africa and the Diaspora. Now there are only scattered activities by people who have not given up on the belief that “A different Africa is possible”. It is a day of solidarity with the various struggles of African peoples for justice, equality, human dignity, freedom, unity and liberation. It was founded in 1958 (April 15) and called Africa Freedom Day, as a result of the first All African People’s conferences called by the indomitable Kwame Nkrumah. I believe Nkrumah is the foremost Pan Africanist of all times, a fact remembered and honoured by Africans world wide who voted him Greatest African of the Millennium in a BBC poll in 2000.

When the Organisation of African Unity (OAU) was formed in Addis, May 25 1963, Africa Freedom Day became AFRICA LIBERATION DAY (ALD) as a symbol of the resolve, commitment and support of all Africa for the total decolonisation of the continent.

Now, following this brief history, I can only assume that the spirit of the conception of the ALD was ideally to celebrate Africa; her struggle for Independence from the cruel and exploitive grip of colonialism and to usher in Pan africanism – celebrating our brotherhood and sisterhood as Africans; as one.

I must admit that even if I did know that Sunday was ALD, I probably wouldn’t have cared less. You can call me a washed-out non Pan africanist but I sincerely don’t see what there is to celebrate. Come on! Has anyone been paying attention to the news of late?

And if you decide to forget the news for a moment, what about the daily grind that our lives have come to be? Seriously, what is there to celebrate as Africans? I am damn well pissed at so much! I am disenfranchised, disillusioned and debilitated!

Let me break it down for all of you:

· While Africa has remained united against apartheid and colonialism, the same cannot be surmised anymore following recent events. Take the raging xenophobic attacks that have swept through South Africa’s main cities. I wont even go into the nitty gritty details; I assume you’re all aware of the situation there. Can we really say that the sceptre of apartheid is really dead and buried? What about the post-election clashes that are usually witnessed in most countries?

· Africa has been enjoying the pleasure of sovereignty for decades now. Our forefathers and founding fathers of Africa’s nations fought tirelessly and bitterly for our emancipation. But the leaders who followed them, were busy stifling the aspirations of their own peoples for real independence and an end to neo-colonial power relations; rather than continue supporting the Liberation of Africa. What is the end result years later? The political elite are maintaining power in the various artificial states bequeathed by colonialism. Increasingly, power struggles have characterised our politics and “democracy” as we know it has become nothing but a mere façade; a laughable ideology. Consequently Africa has became more vulnerable for the cold warriors, unequal international power relations, debt crisis, food and water crisis, disease infested and so on. Cause to celebrate?

· The majority of Africa’s people live in abject poverty. Hundreds of reports and statistics place us as among the most overworked, underpaid individuals on the planet. Living on less than a dollar a day and faced with high tax rates, poor public service delivery, transport crisis, fuel shortages, bad roads and so on. The list is so long that I fear I might take the whole day on this so I’ll stop. And the minority? Think politicians and parastatal heads; swimming in cash and enjoying life at the expense of you and me – the taxpayer. Call it the classic tale of the poor getting poorer while the rich keep reeling in the dough.

· Nkrumah’s famous dictum that the independence of Ghana is meaningless without the total liberation of Africa’s is still true today and even more relevant. Well then, why is it business as usual in most parts of the continent while our comrades in former Northern Rhodesia(now Zimbabwe) suffer under the draconian rule of the mercurial “Comrade Bob?” How do we allow such dictatorship to thrive while we are well aware of the dangers of such leadership to the dream of Pan africanism?

While I could continue “breaking It down,” I feel that my point has been made. Africa still has a long way to go before we can all really bring out the champagne and caviar, and play celebratory tunes on our drums and guitars.

I’m not in a celebratory mood yet. Africa to me is still hauling a great ball and chain around – its liberation hasn’t fully arrived yet.

Work Blues

2008-05-16T23:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, so today is a whole Saturday - ok, hardly looks like one - and Im at WORK!! Bummer...
Anyway, I felt the need to come and build the nation but it doesnt seem to be working out quite as I anticipated.

Firstly, Im sleepier than a bat during the day, my eyes just cant seem to stay open...Im thinking my eyes look like one of KJ's(man, I miss the dude's cartoons) mchoros of some blacked-out chap in some nondescript pub...

Secondly, its a Saturday...for heaven's sake, why work on Saturday? Im not even in the Service Industry! Ok, granted, we all love it when the banks are open and the Customer Service(or lack of it) centres for Safcom and all are tending to our ffickle complaints...But me? What am i doing here on this dull, cold day when I should be catching zzs and enjoying La La land?

Thirdly, Im not in the best of moods....at least not after the Crisp Clean Bites that I had jana before I dozed off. :-

Anyway, I guess I can draw inspiration from the picture above...guess I neeed more than 1 pill..probably an entire bottle...

P.S: Atwoli should seriously consider this abolishment of the 6-day working week...need a petition? I'll get you a million signatures!

Not A Part Of My life…

2008-05-16T05:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah, well…we all have dealt with this “phenomenon” at one time or another in our somewhat twisted lives.

Check it…you go to school(high school or primary, it doesn’t matter) or campus or college. You meet up with old friends and even make new ones. Now, the great thing about institutions(of learning), is that we somehow tend to coalesce into so-called groups/circles where we feel safer and/or more capable of handling the rigours of institutionalized life.

In simpler terms, we form cliques that help us move on with life in high school or campus. I know I was inculcated into one such group; trust me, it did me a lot of good while I was struggling with the culture shock that is campus life… And this explains, as an offshoot, how basically, sororities and fraternities came to be…

Well. The amazing thing here is that whereas we tend to become so tight with our so called “sistaz” and “boyz” while in these institutions, in a couple more years, everything changes. Yes, it does…and you know it.

I thought about this the other day, and realized that out of the battalion of friends I have made over the years, I can only confess to having retained roughly….ten or so friends. And I don’t mean the sort who only remember you when they’re broke or need your “expert career savvy opinions.” No, I’m talking about the real, honest-to-goodness friends. Just ten(or less).

Seriously, when do people cease to be a part of your life? Not because of some irreconcilable differences or anything of the sort; they just cease to be.

It may seem pretty trivial but the reality is that its more of a saddening scenario. A pain.

Because when you create bonds with people you’ve studied with and grown up with together for years, and then after your tenure with each other comes to an end, they simply vanish…it leaves a lot to be desired.

Gone are the days when friendships mattered. When friends looked out for each other and made an effort to be there through thick and thin.

I look at my phone book and sigh; there’s hardly enough persons there who I can actually confess to be really close to. I have even deleted some numbers…no sense in keeping them anyways coz after all, when will I ever use them?

This here attitude is what has degenerated the once vital gift of friendship. And its very easy to lose friends, I have realised. Harder even to get them back…

Technology has also not made it any easier. In this day and age of mobile telephony and the World Wide Web, its hardly necessary to see people personally, face-to-face. No! Why bother when you can always send a quick text, IM a few pals and send several emails?

Hell, we can go whole months without seeing our once “tighter than tight” buddies and feel nothing. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about – having friends; oodles of them, has ceased to be important. Why strain ourselves with the rigours of personal relationships when we can always make new online friends?

Oh yeah, and then there’s the ever-convenient excuse of being too busy. Our careers have held us hostage; we cant find time enough o hang out with our friends as we used to.

It really stinks; this whole scenario. And I dare say, its probably going to get worse with time. People have given up on relationships; I know I have. But I’m thinking its probably never too late to mend the ribbon now, is it?

Do I know where my high school buddies and campus clique are? Hardly; they have simply moved on. Perhaps a few who I still communicate with…but the majority? Well, they have ceased to be a part of my life. Did I have anything to do with it? Absolutely! Am I willing to reel them back in? Well, only time will tell for I’m still working on my issues…